A Lesson in Pride

Pride 2009 - pic by Ronan Healy

I didn’t make Pride this year (I was at the Sea Sessions) but it looked amazing. It always looks amazing but it looked extra great this year- bigger and brighter. This was helped by the weather no doubt, but i think everyone has been galvanized by the civil partnership bill, either to support the concept or to fight against the fact it is not far enough, and that has added to people’s desire to stand up and be counted.

Looking at all the status updates and pictures on facebook I was struck by what a great party it was – all at once a rally cry, a protest, a fashion parade, a street party . A big block party (oh that my block was that fantastic) with people all united as a community and proud of that community and to be seen to be a part of it.   This is a really rare thing in these global/online/urban times of ours and something that politicians and talking heads of all walks of life are espousing a return to: a return to solidarity, to community, to helping each other out, to tolerance, to helping people through the tough times, to recognising the people in your community, getting to know them and getting to know yourself in the process.  It seems deeply ironic then,  that in a time when we need it most, and when the gay community is a real manifestation of all of those values, with the added desires to fight for injustices and stand up for the difficult things in life, that a big bunch of straight people are still fearful of what gay marriage (or gay anything for some of them) will do to their community and to the society at large?  What?  Surely a community as strong and supportive as the gay community should be held up as an exemplar?  surely we should want these values taught to our children, surely we should want children produced from this community, and surely these children should have the same rights to parenting, and their parents to them, as in any other community?

photo- Ronan Healy

Civil Partnership is a somewhat complex issue, and when most people first hear of it they think- great, a step in the right direction. But of course when you pick even that response apart to you have to acknowledge that you either think, or are conditioned to think, that steps are required. That “they” should be lucky to be getting civil partnership at all and shouldn’t we all clap ourselves on the back at what a forward thinking society we are- when in fact all we have done is said okay look, you can be recognised for tax purposes because that works out rather nicely for us, and you can have social welfare and tax because actually that means we can fold in all those straight people that don’t want to get married and that would get us out of a hole there, but really, we don’t want you having or adopting kids, and really- if you somehow manage to procure some we don’t want you having any real rights to them, or them to you.  Plus we’d kind of like to remind you that you are lucky to get anything at all, and really, along with those liberal straights that don’t want to get married, we want to punish you a little bit and remind you that it is too tricky to change a constitution that was set a mere 70 odd years ago.  We managed it for divorce mind, but not this.

Enough to make you angry, especially once Panti gets on the case with her by now legendary blog post No More Mister Nice Gay, and certainly enough to galvanize LGBT Noise who are effective and yes- noisy – with a million facebook messages and a great eye for a photo op, but that’s what’s needed sometimes.  Or angry in a calm effective, legislative manner like Marriage Equality.  Anger is needed and anger is good. Respectful anger of course, non-violent anger, but indignant, shout about it, do something about it anger none-the-less.

It seems that once again, on Saturday last at Pride , Panti said it best – any old asshole can get married, but not you….

In the earlier bit of the speech she says some brilliant things about community, brilliant things worth listening to.  I also love that the speeches are signed….can’t remember the last political speech I saw that was live signed for the benefit of the deaf members of their community, but then I also can’t remember the last political speech I saw delivered in a tight green satin dress and killer heels!

So this is my rant over.  I wish I was at pride, I’m proud of all my friends that were; the gay ones, the straight ones (a community so inclusive that it even embraces straights – imagine!) the ones that are happy with civil partnership, the ones that are not and will fight the good fight against it, especially those last ones.  But mostly I am proud of Pride and I wish my community was so damn great, and looked so damn fabulous doing it.